I got my first when I was 3 or 4 years old I think. An ant bit me. It irritated me like crazy, I ended up scratching my neck so bad, it left a bruise. But no one made any comment then!
Then came college. I always used to get bitten a lot by mosquitoes (sweet blood you see), and this one guy, ‘A’ asked me after seeing the mosquito bite (pretty severely scratched by me) , ‘If things heated up with someone’. I did not get it then, call me innocent (may be dumb), but I really did not!
Cut to the chase, I got married. And of course I had sex(Aah be a grown up and don’t laugh), and after what one would call, good sex, husband told me he gave me a love bite.
‘Meaning?’ ‘It means, look at your neck, you will have a bruise’.
I immediately went to a mirror to see the so called bruise, and omg, it was red. Everything came crashing back, all those times people looked at my scratch marks weirdly, and with a lot of interest.
I thought Ewww..this is what people would think when they see a neck bruise. And worst, this guy A from college, who is currently my husband, had thought I got this stuff, back in college!! I did not like the look of it, and I scolded A for this. The thought of colleagues..say manager seeing the mark, sort of made me shudder what they would be thinking. I either wore full collared shirts, or hid them with a shawl(I like getting them, just not showing them..duhh!).
And then I grew up.
Marriage is a public announcement to the entire world that the couple is going to have sex. KamaSutra is an Indian guide on how to have sex creatively. And babies are proof of everything I wrote above! So whats wrong anyway.
Gradually I started exposing them, and covering up for the marks.
‘I wore a chain..just got an allergic reaction’. ‘Must be some mosquito bite, too many nowadays’. ‘Is there a mark, I dont know how..’ and I just blushed.
Now I have reached a stage, where I publicly tell when someone asks, ‘Oh, thats a hickey, you know’ and I blush.
This happened about 6 months ago, the coming out of shell i.e.
The reason I wrote about it today, is because I wanted to write a post that made me feel good. With Covid, and losing friends, and never ending lockdown, and work, and self cleaning, and parents being far, anxiety because of staying home, getting fat, and a million problems at hand, this small bruise on my neck made me happy.
And this is what I want to put out. Just stick to the happy things. Remember them again and again. Create new happinesses, however small they might be. Helps survive you see.
10 years down the line, when I fight with A (which am sure I will), I wanna go straight to him , show him this post, and bite his neck off to make it up! <wink wink>
Also, I know you like Hickeys. Dont act off ok.
World..through my eyes! 