Disclaimer.

A little late for one, but valid, and highly required.

Whatever i write, any resemblence to eating , sleeping, jay walking or whatever activity of any living or lying or whatever person, is purely , solely, and may be sometimes, sarcastically a happy/sad/expressionless coincidence. I am 100% innocent.

Yours angrily,
S.

I wonder.

I wonder if you are thinking the same as i am now. You are supposed to be here, right beside me, correcting me as i make useless spelling mistakes in this document. Giving suggestions on how to make my life easier in office work. Making a perfect dip tea for me and then telling how you learnt it from a beautiful girl. But you are busy, busy doing your own walks, busy taking long drives alone, or worse, with someone whom i am sure, i will totally resent.I wonder if i should tell you this. But then, you are supposed to know it, if you know me.

I wonder what you are doing now. I want to hear it from you on what you are doing. Not from someone on where you partied last friday, or which girl you are last seen with. I want you to tell me with the same amount of exitement you once had, about this amazing drink you had, or awesome dosa you ate, or this girl with wierd dress sense you saw. I want you to tell me about the fight you had with this stupid team mate, whom you consider really really stupid, and i would just go on and on , about what a great guy he is. I want you to talk it out. And talk without thinking. I wonder if u can do that. I wonder if i will ever listen to that.

I wonder if i can ever go out at 12 in the night with you again. I wonder if you did that, you know, with someone else. I wonder if you still visit ‘that place’ , where we spent hours and hours doing nothing. I wonder if you listen to all those songs, which once upon a time were totally dedicated to me. I wonder if you threw all the gifts i made for you. Or , may be you just put it aside so that i remain forever in one dark corner of your cupboard. I wonder if you still run in those shoes i bought, or wear the shirt i gifted. I want the day when you do that and take a pic and send it to me. I wonder if i can ever see that day.

I wonder who you are, what influenced me so much as to think this way, resulting in this deep and time-consuming useless thought process. I blame you for the sleepless nights, sore eyes , blank minded thoughts, zombie walks. Its like, i dont know anymore who you are. I wonder if you know me, And if you do, you should know, that my silence speaks volumes.
Its your fault, entirely. That you are out of reach, out of sight. But sadly, not out of mind.