I’ve given a very very long thought about this, and finally, here it goes.
Remember the Orkut days? The time when social acceptance started to become a norm, and everyone would measure your popularity by the number of friends in your list, or testimonials(and their lengths) to your name? I remember asking all of my close friends to write testimonials for me, just so I could also boast about it. Then came facebook, where your self worth literally was measured by the number of likes on your post? This continued on every social media, more so with the present generation (Yeah yeah I am old).
SO yes, I am old indeed. Old enough to understand there is more to life than social acceptance. I don’t care anymore about posting things on social media, unless I want to save some special memories. But the pressure still haunts me. The pressure to be around people, especially around festivals ; and birthdays, and days like new year, and every holiday. I wanted to be included in different groups, especially those who go to regular parties. Needless to say, I made a lot of ‘friends’.
Its new years, shall we call some people and throw a party? Aah we have a 3 days weekend, we 3 families should go hiking, what say? Its my birthday, should I celebrate it with a group of friends cutting cake or just a quiet vacation with family? Sadly, my preference for all 3 questions above involved a group of people. Why? Its not like I want people to know that I am an amazing family girl, who works and cooks and also hangs out with her girl gang? Or do I want to show off that I am surrounded by people always ?
The answer is Yes. To both. I love spending time with family, but there is this different kick when there are people around you who want to basically spend time with you. And I think this is the kryptonite to most people out there. I for one, measured the success of my birthday based on the number of cakes I got from different groups of friends. (I know, its sad)
What I am basically trying to say is, there will be people around you now, they wont be with you forever. It’s just you who should care about you. It’s okay to be alone. It’s okay to spend a holiday with no one. It’s okay to be alone on your birthday. It’s totally okay to go to a movie or a pub alone. You will feel bad when you see people partying with their ‘gang’ , but it’s okay. Party with the people you are comfortable with. Not because everyone else is doing it.
Don’t be in pressure to make friends, just so you could click few pictures with them on special occasions – Shivani 2020.
More importantly, don’t put your self worth to test based on the number of people you have around you. Good friends are hard to find, and when you do find them, you will know. You will not feel the need to party with them on every stupid occasion. One message is enough to get in touch.
PS: This is just me.
PPS: My husband is my inspiration. He is such a happy soul. He is happy with himself, his son, and his wife. 9 years and now I realise self love is the best love.
World..through my eyes! 